Daily ESM Joke!

[Moria]

Another one for the men

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big ****in' red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Moria x

[Viviana]

For the guys

Guys, I'm going to be cheeky and suggest you get with it and don't let this happen to you!!

~Viviana -

[ANTIQUER]

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advise in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Was the sex with your husband not good?"
"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"

ROFL!!! Thanks, Grace.

Al.

[Viviana]

Self Defense

Hope you learn as much as I did! I just know I'm ready to fight Grace!

Methods of Self Defense

~Viviana -

[Kevin]

Here is a fun link!

smartorstoopid

Be ready...it goes fast.

[Pamela Vicik-Smith]

I just scored a 21, but that was after about 3 glasses of wine. (Hey, it's a holiday

[Jamie]

To all the conspiracy theorists out there (and yes, sometimes I am one) here's a fun little mocumentary

YouTube - The Old Negro Space Program

[Grace]

For Viviana!

Hope you learn as much as I did! I just know I'm ready to fight Grace!

Methods of Self Defense

~Viviana -

YES! You are now able to whip my butt!!!!!! I LOVE THIS VIDEO!

[Grace]

For Al!

ROFL!!! Thanks, Grace.

Al.

You are Welcome Al! I laughed so hard when my friend sent me this joke at the most appropriate time. I remember feeling a bit frustrated that day, and then I get the email with this joke.

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advise in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."
It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Was the sex with your husband not good?"
"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"

LIFE IS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!

[Grace]

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Demetri Martin Rock, Paper, scissors

[wpage]

Banned from Starbucks!

Some Bannings are not so bad...

Banned in Boston...

Not good

Banned from energetic forum...

Bad

Banned from Starbucks...

You will survive!

Laughter always the best medicine!


W

[Grace]

Thank you Ron!

Ron Allen from this Forum (and a GREAT friend) just sent this to me! It is hilarious!!


Mrs Hughes

[Viviana]

So funny!

Thanks Ron for sharing this with Grace so she could share it with us!

It is hilarious!!!

"Is this blocking your view?"

~Viviana -

Ron Allen from this Forum (and a GREAT friend) just sent this to me! It is hilarious!!


Mrs Hughes

[Sharyn]

The Line Cut

I came across this story & couldn't resist posting! Be careful what you ask for .....

Cat Story

My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled).

When she moved to Chicago with my brother, one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her.

(see Below)

She cried for a week...but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had."
Gas in car to go to groomers $ 4.50
Cat car carrier $32.99
Grooming fee $80.00
Getting the look from one seriously pissed off cat Priceless!




business@mistychouse.com




Love, Light & Blessings
Sharyn

[future pather]

That's so funny Sharon.

It's kind of cute bc it's already done. I wonder if anyone normally gets that done to their cats on purpose.

It reminds me of an episode I went through in the 6th grade with a certain haircut I cried over and wore hats over until it grew out


XO Jessica