Daily ESM Joke!

[socratus]

The Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic Church.

The Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic Church.
Priest says "What are you doing here?”
The God -particle says: "You can't have mass without me."
/ Christian Esmeria. /

[rickoff]

Rx for poison?

A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked
up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide."

The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The Pharmacist's eyes grew big and he explained, "Lord have
mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband; that's against the
law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of
bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife.


The Pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "Well, I'm sorry. You didn't tell me that you had a prescription!"

[rickoff]

Things that are bad to eat.....

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford...

"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High trans-fat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,

"Wedding Cake."

[Ruphus]

Barber Shop

A barber is cutting hair in his shop and a guy sticks his head in the door and asks "hey! How long till I can get a hair cut?" The barber looks at the clock and says "about two hours." "thanks" the man replied and closed the door and walked down the street. The next day the barber was again busy in his shop when the same man stuck his head in the door..."Hey buddy! How long to get a hair cut?" Barber says "about 3 hours". "thanks" the man replied and closed the door and walked down the street. Then next day the man stuck his head into the busy shops door again..."Hey buddy! How long to get a hair cut?" Barber says "about 1 hour". "thanks" the man said as he took off running down the street. The barber says to one of the waiting customers, "I'll give you a free haircut if you go follow that guy and see why he keeps doing that. The customer agrees and goes after the man. Some time later he returns with uncontrollable laughter. The barber asks "Whats so funny? Did you track that guy down and find out where he is going? "Yeah" the man said laughing..."He went to your house!"