My Apology

[VJoy]

Hi folks,

I know I have been very, very much a downer in my posts, and I want to apologize. Everyone here is trying to improve there lives, and you all seem to be so positive. I have been rambling here with my negative feelings, and that just brings negative energy to this forum and all you kind people.

I will resist the desire to complain, and only keep any posts to simple questions if I have any, which I have fewer and fewer, as I have been on Paths for 2 months now, and it isn't working yet. I will keep trying.

I have also been very pessamistic in some PM's that I have had with a few people, and I think I made them feel helpless or at a lack for words. I apologize to you also.

Thank you all for your kindness, and patience with me. I am sorry if I brought anyone down.

Val

[Grace]

For the fabulous VAl!

Hi folks,

I know I have been very, very much a downer in my posts, and I want to apologize. Everyone here is trying to improve there lives, and you all seem to be so positive. I have been rambling here with my negative feelings, and that just brings negative energy to this forum and all you kind people.

I will resist the desire to complain, and only keep any posts to simple questions if I have any, which I have fewer and fewer, as I have been on Paths for 2 months now, and it isn't working yet. I will keep trying.

I have also been very pessimistic in some PM's that I have had with a few people, and I think I made them feel helpless or at a lack for words. I apologize to you also.

Thank you all for your kindness, and patience with me. I am sorry if I brought anyone down.

Val

Hi Beautiful Val,

You are a blessing, and a GIFT! If you think for one moment that you have brought anyone down, then it is your ego/mind that thinks that it can do this. Only the ego can think that it has power to harm.

We are ONE, and in complete harmony of all that IS! Your feeling "ILL" is not the issue. You are ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS, and this is the TRUTH!

If you receive Kindness it is because you GIVE kindness! YOU are creating it all!

In LOVE and TRUTH, I leave you with these words:

"know thyself"

[wpage]

Lifes rollercoaster

Val,

Hang in there. When you hit those valleys in life. Remeber how good it feels to be at the top of the mountain!

"This too shall pass" is the mantra to get thru those low points...

Remember the good times and know there will be mostly more great times.

Be Happy

W

[illusions]

Hi Val

Grace is Spot On (as usual of course ) and I second what she says!!

About your Paths, this post may help:
What's The Delay?

Be FABulous to Yourself! You deserve it!

Love and Light and Magic xxx

[April]

VJoy,

I just wanted to chime in and tell you to remember to give yourself credit for the progress you've made! The fact that you have become aware of having a habit of negative thinking, or complaining, means that you are looking at it from a new perspective. You have a new desire to move away from that way of thinking (or vibrating) toward a different way - one that feels better. That is a huge shift, and one that marks the beginning of letting yourself be happy!!!
If you want some inspiration in your new direction, I would like to recommend Abraham-Hicks new book "Money and the Law of Attraction". I have read all of their books, and have about 40 of their workshops on cd, and I have to say that I think this new one is the best one they've put out, and it's not just about money. It really helps you "get it" in a way that you can apply the principles in your every moment and change those habits of thought that are no longer serving you, to create a joyful experience. The hardback edition comes with a cd that is worth buying the book for.

[VJoy]

For Grace, Wpage, Illusions and April

Thank you Grace, WPage, Illusions and April.

Okay, at the risk of sounding horribly negative again, I will answer these posts very briefly.

I do want to thank you for your kindness.

Illusions, thank you for the link, I read it and I hope that is happening with me.

To sum up the other posts to keep this short, WPAGE, I remember the good times, and fully believe they are over. They aren't coming back, for various reasons. I have nothing left to look forward to.

Grace, Thank you for the compliment of kindness, but the rest of your post has a spiritual bent, , as does the Abraham-Hicks material (April), and this does not resonate with me. I know the A-H material, and don't believe it. Grace, I can't feel ONE with anything. I wish I could!

My spiritual beliefs are based on my concept of a inherently cruel spiritual system, and there is nothing we can do about it. I know I could be wrong, of course, but I don't believe anyone knows the real truth. I just know what seems the truth for me and what I see in the world. (I do not subscribe to any religion, and have read and studied many "new age" type material, life lessons, karma, God/Universe loves everyone, yada yada, and I don't jive with it).

My belief is stated above, and again, that is a downer, but that is my truth. Yes, it is a depressing one to walk around with, but that is my belief based on my life experience. I DON'T WANT THAT BELIEF, BUT IT IS THERE.

Thank you everyone, I do, do appreciate your kindness, I just can't see anything positive in my future, except more suffering, and I am edging towards giving up on trying.

Thanks...

[future pather]

Val,

Something about you seems very certain about your limitations. So I will preference this by saying you may not like the idea

But. . . I decided to believe in one source of all goodness (which I am comfortable as thinking of as God) mostly because it made me FEEL BETTER than thinking anything else.

Like if you don't know the truth, you might as well believe something that helps you, you know?

Per loa the genie will give us whatever we put out. Has it been super easy to keep my faith in goodness? No, I'd be lying if I said yes.

But it's been better than if I didn't. Also I believe there's some kind of spiritual test, like the story of Job.

Most people focus on why did Job suffer? There's some quotes in the Bible about how it's easy to be nice when everything's going your way.

Even the tax collectors love those who love them and the like.

So apparently this lifetime requires that we love even our enemies.

ANYWAY I bet a lot of people didn't know that after Job's ordeals :

"the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. 11 All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the LORD had brought upon him, and each one gave him a piece of silver [a] and a gold ring.

12 The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. 13 And he also had seven sons and three daughters. 14 The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. 15 Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

16 After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. 17 And so he died, old and full of years."

Job 42 :: Bible Search

Anyway imo the good times can come back. Just thought I'd share


Jessica

[VJoy]

Jessica

"Like if you don't know the truth, you might as well believe something that helps you, you know?"


Dear Jessica, thank you, but even though I don't know 100% of what is true spiritually, my belief is deeply rooted. To just believe in something that is completely opposite is not logical to me, because I don't believe it.

Also.......I see your point, but stories from the bible.......I am very sorry, and don't mean to be disrespectful, I respect everyone's beliefs, but these stories I do not believe. I am not a fan of the bible.

And I know about the spiritual lessons, and even if this is true, I don't want them. I don't care. There is too much suffering.

Thank you Jessica, but you can see, I am very glass half empty,......and I am fully aware of it, but I don't know how to change my beliefs if they are my beliefs.

[future pather]

my belief is deeply rooted. To just believe in something that is completely opposite is not logical to me, because I don't believe it.

If this seems antagonizing please ignore it. I just noticed that you seem to put a high value on logic. Not just above but also as I remember your other posts.

I guess I would like to ask you do you want to change your beliefs? You seem to be concerned that you don't know how to change your beliefs.

Do you really want to? It just seems to me you have a choice. You can believe them for any reason you want. You can make up a logical one, like my quote about it being more useful for you to do so, or you can even throw logic out the window and change your belief bc you just feel like it.

Anyway I guess I'd like to hear you for sure address if you want to change your beliefs.

Jessica

[VJoy]

Jessica

That is a very good question.

I will honestly tell you first, yes I am too logical. I am a very analytical person, and too much for my own good. It is very hard for me to NOT do that, but I am not making any excuses, just explaining that I am aware of it, and you are correct.

I do have the deep, deep down inner child that wants to change for positive. I don't want to suffer anymore, I want to be happy.

But, on the surface, and completely in charge is the part of me that does NOT want to change. many of us get comfortable with our beliefs, whether positive or negative, and I believe I am, in a very, very unhealthy way, comfortable with being miserable. I fully admit it.

My parents taught me to expect the worst in life. Fear life. That way you won't be shocked when the bad things happen. I have carried that all my life and they are my own beliefs now, based on my life experiences also, especially the last 4 years. There is also the part of me that believes I CANNOT CHANGE......

Again, this may sound lame,.....but I don't know how to change that. If the overriding desire not to change wins, there is no hope. But how does one bring out the deep down inner being that does want change?

I have no clue. No therapist has been able to help me.....the only thing that has made a little dent of help is EMDR that I have been doing, although THAT is on hold while I do my chelation. But I will resume that.

Thanks Jessica......

[Doug]

Hey Val

Thank you Grace, WPage, Illusions and April.


My spiritual beliefs are based on my concept of a inherently cruel spiritual system, and there is nothing we can do about it. I know I could be wrong, of course, but I don't believe anyone knows the real truth. I just know what seems the truth for me and what I see in the world. (I do not subscribe to any religion, and have read and studied many "new age" type material, life lessons, karma, God/Universe loves everyone, yada yada, and I don't jive with it).

Thanks...

Val!!!
I'm glad you shared your beliefs. The good thing is that you can CHANGE your BELIEFS.... Yep, that's what I said CHANGE 'em. I've done it myself and have seen my life dramatically change to go with it. I learned most of my "cool stuff" from the Seth books by Jane Roberts. Beliefs are one of the most important things in life. I've even coined a phrase, "What you say makes your day" The time concepts are a challenge to comprehend. Since it doesn't exist, you continuing to profess your past and giving it attention, will continue it for your future. Cause... past present and future are happening all at once. What you are doing in the present AFFECTS the past.

For the SETH books it's not a lot of "Lets hold hands and sing "Cum by Ya stuff either." It's more scientific in a sense and it has information you can check out, test out in a way, and..... it makes very good sense. I don't jump on everything that comes my way either. I have a feeling you haven't read them yet.
But really, your beliefs are your playing cards at the table. Some don't work as well as others. If you don't like the cards dealt -- the great thing is you can ask the dealer for better, like a five card draw.

If you don't want to check the SETH books, that's fine - you may not be able to handle them, but please tell me how beautiful your Fall is in NY???

Okay??


Doug

p.s. you know I was just being silly about those speakers before right?
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[VJoy]

Doug

Doug, thank you for the book recommendation.

Please don't worry about the speakers!! I know you were joking!!!

As far as beauty in NY.....I saw your other post and didn't answer, I am sorry about that, I was too depressed. I see that you are trying to get me to focus on something positive, but frankly, I hate NYC.

You live where there is beauty, I live in concrete and steel, noise and pollution. The few trees we have look sick and I do like nature, but I don't live there. NYC is good for convenience, and I appreciate that, but there is nothing asthetic here.

Thanks Doug

[Ann-ticipatingSuccess]

Hi Val

I had a couple of thoughts while reading your posts.

You may have already looked into this but I'll mention it anyway. EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - can address the issue you have of part of you not wanting to change and also your belief that you *can't* change. You can read all about it and learn how to do it for free at EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else. If you find this technique resonates with you, you can find lots of videos on YouTube that you can follow along with. And since you live in NY you should be able to find professional practitioners if you think a facilitator might be helpful.

Another process that I have found helpful is Zpoint Process. It specifically addresses the part of you that doesn't want to change. You can learn about it and how to do it at Opening to the Abundance of Life.

As for the logical 'part' of you, have you read any of Bruce Lipton's books? This is from Amazon -

About the Author

Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. is an internationally recognized authority in bridging science and spirit and a leading voice in new biology. A cell biologist by training (emphasis mine - for your logic ), he taught Cell Biology at the University of Wisconsin’s School of Medicine, and later performed pioneering studies at Stanford University’s School of Medicine. He has been a guest speaker on dozens of TV and radio shows, as well as keynote presenter for national conferences.

Here is a link to his book, "Biology of Belief", on Amazon - Amazon.com: Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles: Bruce H. Lipton: Books. He has other books, but this one is very good. This is a link to his website - Bruce Lipton Ph.D..


Another very good book that should appeal to your logic while at the same time possibly leading your logic in a different direction is "The Field", by Lynne McTaggart. It is a VERY good book that, IMO, scientifically defies lots of logic. Here is a link to the book on Amazon - Amazon.com: The Field: Lynne McTaggart: Books (I noticed there is also an updated version now.)

And here is the link to her website - Living The Field - The scientific study of spirituality.

You might also want to check into the role Vitamin D plays in combating depression.

I hope some of these suggestions prove helpful.

Ann

[future pather]

Val,

I have a lot of respect for your honesty in your reply to my question

Also somehow the tone of that post made me just wanna you.

There was a very well respected counselor (I think psychiatrist) who helped me and my mom a bit on our relationship.

He let us know that our roles were to say our feelings to each other, then accept how the other one felt.

It was so simple. Whenever we got into arguing, it helped to focus on that.

Most of all it seemed to really relieve my mom when she was just able to say she felt x. I could just hear the relief after that. Or as you did in describing how you've been taught to fear life.

Something seemed powerful in just you stating that.

The counselor said we were not responsible to change the other's feelings, just hear them and still be there.

I think it's super cool what you expressed and it really makes me feel warm and fuzzy towards you (as opposed to worrying about you or anything like that).

Jessica

[Aaron]

Unconditional Love

The counselor said we were not responsible to change the other's feelings, just hear them and still be there.

Jessica, that reminds me of a little figurine with a quote that my mom has. It says: "A friend is someone that knows all about you but loves you just the same."