Chinese Energetic Medicine by Grace

[KimJ]

for wantfreeenergy

wantfreeenergy,

Thank you for taking the time to look into that for me! I should have researched more long ago it seems.... I had no idea there was such an issue with whether or not to do surgery. I will definitely be looking at those articles you sent.

Thanks again!
Kim

[wantfreeenergy]

KimJ
I've been watching this thread off and on. And I just felt I needed to reply. I popped over to Alternative Medicine Forums, Blogs & FAQs on CureZone.com and did a search for "lazy eye" and this is the second post that came up and the first one I looked at. Cause of Lazy Eye at Ask Barefoot Herbalist Have a look at the very last post about the square eye exercise.

Also this post interested me. The Bates method_Cure your eyes naturally at Market Place: Advertise, Buy & Sell

But the real reason I wanted to reply was cus I saved these articles. There are five in total. Perfect Eyesight 1 by Lapis And I thougt they could be of use/interest.

Just a matter of opinion and belief and I also think it's been shown in studies. Glasses will make eye conditions worse. It's like trying to create an immune system using drugs instead of allowing the body grow strong. Doing such things will only cause the body dependence upon on them.

[KimJ]

For Grace - couple of things...

Hi Grace,
Just a quick request re my youngest son. He wears glasses for strabismus - lazy eye... Long story short, his eyes are all of a sudden not working together and he may have to have another surgery, this time on the eye that was the "good eye" as they are apparently 'taking turns' doing the work, resulting in an inward turn of the eye not doing the work. This apparently is affecting his depth perception, among other things. He was progressing well and now, suddenly they are getting worse, so I'm wondering why this is happening and corrections would be awesome!

Also, still issues with finding good quality staff... thought I had it covered, both in regards to the inner "work" and the results of that which did show up, but apparently not so as the fit isn't great yet. So, help on whatever is underlying to be cleared would be fabulous. I'm still struggling with the lack/fear thinking too in regards to finances, both business and personal, staying in the gratitude yet dealing with the 'current' reality...

Thanks so much, Grace, for all you do.
Kim

[cassiopeias_dream]

First of all, i just want to say that the issues i last requested help on feel like another lifetime... I didn't think I'd heal so fast, but i feel pretty good, thanks to Paths and this thread (thank you Grace and everyone else).

Secondly: Grace, I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble, would you be able to test which four modules I should go on next? In the six(-ish) months I have been on Paths, some of my modules have been really effective, but others seem to have had hardly any effect at all. It feels like it's all a bit hit-and-miss, and especially since I seem to be a very slow responder as compared to most people, it would be nice to have a helping hand.

I would really like to learn how to muscle test, but so far i haven't had much luck. Which method do you use?

[Inika]

Long time

Hello Grace and everyone,
It's been a while since I posted and I've been reading the posts and sending love and compassion to you all. Grace, congratulations on your tournament!! You ROCK!!

My birthday is coming up in a few days and it is always a time of reflection fro me. Gratitude is coming up big-time for me as I realize all the ways my being has lead me to healing. Paths has been such a huge part of that! Starting with the Self Esteem Module and now with my Platinum. It's like a quantum leap from 2 years ago when I first started!

I have finally gotten out of a bad relationship and been doing some deep healing. I have been using my platinum to work on the areas I where I see now need some help like my worthiness to have a good relationship. I am looking at my denial of past experiences and letting go of body trauma through Somatic Experiencing. The combination of mind and body work + paths is astounding!

Grace I would love to hear about creating platinums.... mine is extremely effective but know that it can be even more.

Sending gobs of healing and peace,

[Sunshine]

Hi Grace

At some point I'll be able to update on what's been happening. For now, it's another request for some corrections please. I have been going through quite a lot of upheaval and had plenty of issues to address but I know that I have learnt a lot from it. I am doing what I can to focus on what I want which right now the most pressing is somewhere to live. I have to move out of where I am in one week, but I could actually do with something before then because where I am has made me ill and I know I need to move out as quickly as I can. My voice is very husky and disappearing and it's hard to breathe and my whole body is seizing up and slowing down and my energy levels are reducing more and more which is all pretty scary. So I need to manifest somewhere fairly urgently so I can get out and recover! So any assistance with this would be much appreciated. I don't find it easy when I know what I need to do but don't seem able to make it happen. I have been calling places all day today but just haven't found anywhere. Thank you.

[serenac]

Hi Adrienne, Mozaar, Grace and everyone else here! Oh I do love you so much you people are amazing!

Anyways I'm on the Trauma Free module right now so I feel very BI***Y a lot!

Yes Mozaar thank you soooooooooo much for your hugs, today I do feel like I do deserve them! Thank you so much!

Anyways, as for the idea of the devil being the ego, well I was more referring to people who are the devil. I mean to people who think some other people are the devil.

When I was growing up some people hated me. I mean they reeeeeaaaaaaally hated me. They hated me so much they wished I was dead or that I would die. The reason why they hated me wasn't because of anything I had ever done, they hated me because they thought I was a bad seed, a born evil being, a curse who was so mean and evil that it selfishly insisted on shoving its mean little way into their lives against their wills because that was how mean and evil it was, a curse they didn't want in their lives and they were forced to put up with against their wills. (Well maybe in some past life maybe I WAS mean and evil towards them for them to have hated me so much, who knows?)

Now I'm the kind of person who always feels whatever you feel. For example if you're mad and I'm near you I get mad. If you love the Beatles and I'm with you I'll go crazy over the Beatles (and personally I really don't care very much for the Beatles at all, hope all those Beatles fans out there don't get too offended hehe!). And if you hate me I will hate myself too, if you want to kill me I will try and help you kill me. Not that I mean to be masochistic or anything like that, if you wanted to kill that butterfly over there I would probably help you too. Even though I personally love butterflies. I always feel whatever you feel when I'm with you, I can't seem to help it and then later on I have problems distinguishing between what was YOUR emotion and what was MINE.

So if I grew up with people who hated me (at least sometimes) and wanted me dead, I also start to feel that way about me. Later on they might leave me but I will still continue to see myself and the world through their eyes.

That is until I discover PATHS!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

So now with time I don't hate myself as much anymore and I don't want to murder Serena anymore. On the contrary, I think that was very sad that there would be people in the world who would suffer from so much hatred inside themselves that they would hate a little child (in addition of course to hating themselves too), but then again it must certainly have been the right childhood for me because I chose it.

Anyways as for the question I asked Grace, I believe I'm not supposed to look for work right now, I should be receiving welfare for about a year. I think I'm supposed to concentrate on just doing what I love to do, and maybe something will turn up in that arena. Maybe I won't be able to earn a living yet but if that is the case something will surely turn up before welfare ends.

Well you know, I'm one of those people who don't like to talk about projects that are still up in the air (unless I plan on directly asking you to participate in the project hehe! ) or works in progress. I prefer to present a finished, polished product when it is ready to be presented to the world. Unlike Pamela or Maggie or other people on this forum who already have finished works, I don't have anything yet, just a bunch of ideas which I have to slowly put together and make real in the material world!

But you can all be sure that when and if I have something to show to the world, you'll all be among the first to know about it! Come on, when that happens I'll probably get so tiresome and boring bombarding you and everyone else on this forum with so much promotional material and publicity, you'll probably all be wondering why on earth did you ever ask me!!! Well seriously, really I will talk a little more about what I'm up to when I'm a little further along hehe!

Oh while I'm at this post I'd like to ask Grace if it's possible, if while you're making corrections if you could add my son onto these corrections, he's got really bad asthma (inherited from his father but I don't know who his father got it from because his grandfather is really hale and strong) (his father is not, his father is the delicate, neurotic type), he spends hours in the hospital with a mask on and then he can't go to school. He seems to have a really weak immune system no matter what I do to try and boost it like giving him propolis or Actimel (a yogurt thing that they have here in Europe). My other son who has a different father is very strong and healthy and never gets sick, so it's not like it's something that floats around in the air in our home or anything like that.

Anyways that's about it for now babes! I think I'll go off and do some other things for now. Thank you all again so much you are all so grrrrrrrreat! Serena

[Mozaar]

I hope you feel derserving enough to accept this hug

Like its been mentioned before a zillion times, we are all one. As peace and love are making headways into the world, people like you will need to come on in with all that baggage and be at peace. Forgot why you deserve this peace or deserve this love. Adrienne is right on the mark when she says what you are telling yourself just isn't true. I pray you will move on to what you destined to become. Be harmonious and happy

[Adrienne]

Serenac

Hi Adrienne! Great to hear from you!

Oh Adrienne I'd so love to be able to tell you and Grace and everyone else here what it is that I love to do so much, but I've just got such a big problem I can't tell anyone! I'd LOOOVE to be able to tell you all, but I just can't! When I imagine myself telling anyone what I'm really like I get this vision of everyone getting mad at me and yelling at me through this forum and kicking me out of the forum and banning me and telling me to never show up here again! I know you're not that kind of people, but I just feel like, well like it would be the most NORMAL reaction from ANYONE! Not that I like to do anything strange or weird or perverted, millions of people, well okay maybe not millions but maybe thousands of people all over the world make their living doing what I love to do and everyone loves them - of course, if people didn't love them they couldn't make their living from that!

But anyways getting back to the question the thing is, people who make their living from this are people that people CAN love, people who are nice and likeable. I feel like what I like to do is something only good people can do, it's a little bit like, let's say I was an ex con and I was convicted for murdering a ton of people, do you really think it would produce great feelings in you if one day I proclaimed to y'all that for example, I wanted to become a teacher or a priest or a therapist? Of course not! You'd all stone me! You'd kick me out of your neighbourhood and tell me that you would NEVER in a hundred years let a person with my history near their kids! You'd boycott the church I was preaching in, or organize a protest march to make the school board fire me, or stand in front of my therapy office with pamphlets letting everyone know just who exactly is this person who presumes to offer therapy sessions!

If I tried to be a truck driver you'd never hire me, you wouldn't wanna wake up one morning and discover that I'd used your truck to smuggle hashish into the country!

So you see, much as I love to do what I love to do, I really don't have any hope of ever being able to do it because I still see myself as a person who is too bad, too evil, to deserve ever doing what I want to do, if you know what I mean. It's not that I ever did anything evil (as far as I'm aware of anyways), it's just that I feel like I was born a bad seed, if you get what I mean, I was born evil, I couldn't help it I was just born that way, like being born with 6 fingers on each hand or without an arm.

Now Paths IS helping me with that, so there are days when I don't feel like I was born evil, there are days when I seem to see things clearly and I'm open to the possibility that maybe that is just an erroneous belief. But other days I'm absolutely convinced that I'm a bad seed and that is that and there is nothing to do about it! Like that's just the way it is, that just as I was born female, with the hair colour and eye colour that I have, with the kind of nose that I have, so I was born evil, with a bad seed and that is it and we must all just accept this fact as irrefutable and unchangeable. Just as I can't change the colour of my eyes or the natural colour of my hair, I can dye it but underneath it is still its natural colour.

Well anyways maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I'm convinced that you would all be much happier for example having me type your letters or clean your oven before you would ever tolerate me around doing what I love to do. If you saw the devil doing what he loved to do most, would you stand for that??? (Whatever it is that the devil loves to do most, because truth is I really don't know what it is that the devil loves to do most lol!)

But all the same thanks so much Adrienne for taking the time to read my long, boring and pedantic posts. Well I guess it's like I said in the post I guess feeling good about myself and about doing what I love to do, is what I need to have happen before I could ever make any attempt to try and earn some money or anything else doing what I love to do. Hopefully with Paths I can eventually find that confidence, which at this moment seems still light years away from me!

Thanks to all and hugs to all, an extra hug for those who had the patience and (I think) enough masochistic sensation to actually wade through this boring post! Serena

Hello Serenac,
hmmmmmmmmm, a thought came to mind when you asked what would the devil do if the devil did what he/she/it loved?
well i am guessing that the devil is doing so... if in this instance we are speaking of the devil guarding hell, as far as i understand it that seems to suit him just fine!!!
now lets take this to a place of the devil aka the ego mind, the aspect of ones self that would be considered the evil part of us.. aka the devil... well honestly sounds like when the ego is is working diligently to survive and keep us in our beleif system... it is like gaurding hell... cuz it sounds like you are in hell on earth serenac, which of course it can always get worst..so you are in a great place being here on ths forum!!!

hmmmmm, well i am not gonna come here to pretend to want to be all lovely dovey and airy fairy helpful, but i will be truthful... and call it like i see it...
sounds like you think you are soo different then the rest of us here on earth on this forum, in your community...(ego) you are as much like all of us as anyone...

looks like you have put alot of time (and words) to try and convince others of how horrible you are... you have devoted alot of your writting to telling us (yes how you feel aswell, understood) how truely horrible you are...think you are, bel;eive you are.. and you also go on to describing in many examples just in case we don't get it... it is very clear!
I do say this all i love, cuz i do feel your confusion...
however you are not that special or unique serenac that you are one of a kind...and different. that is your ego talking based on things you learned about the human child born to this earth... The truth is Serenac is that you are love.. absolutly Pure love... like me like every single person here who has posted inthe whole entire world...
but it sounds like you are aware of the fact that what you beleive about your self isn't the truth and that your mind tells you things and then you feels things.. and therefor create your world based on this.. yes with your vigilance you will see your light
as for not sharing what you love to do, thats too bad, i was really curiouse... your right it is probably you who is thinking you will be condemed by others.. but that tells me that it is you that condems you...
Remember this "other peoples opinions are none of your business"
so now you are free to tell the world...
well keep coming back serenac.. you give so many so much when you share...
i love you
Adrienne

[serenac]

hello,
i notice you write alot about "what i love to do" and "i don't like doing anything else"
but unless i missed it somewhere, what is it that you love to do.... ???
just curious, cuz perhaps some insight and suggestions could be gained by directly reffering to you passion!!
thanks for sharing all that you share

Adrienne

Hi Adrienne! Great to hear from you!

Oh Adrienne I'd so love to be able to tell you and Grace and everyone else here what it is that I love to do so much, but I've just got such a big problem I can't tell anyone! I'd LOOOVE to be able to tell you all, but I just can't! When I imagine myself telling anyone what I'm really like I get this vision of everyone getting mad at me and yelling at me through this forum and kicking me out of the forum and banning me and telling me to never show up here again! I know you're not that kind of people, but I just feel like, well like it would be the most NORMAL reaction from ANYONE! Not that I like to do anything strange or weird or perverted, millions of people, well okay maybe not millions but maybe thousands of people all over the world make their living doing what I love to do and everyone loves them - of course, if people didn't love them they couldn't make their living from that!

But anyways getting back to the question the thing is, people who make their living from this are people that people CAN love, people who are nice and likeable. I feel like what I like to do is something only good people can do, it's a little bit like, let's say I was an ex con and I was convicted for murdering a ton of people, do you really think it would produce great feelings in you if one day I proclaimed to y'all that for example, I wanted to become a teacher or a priest or a therapist? Of course not! You'd all stone me! You'd kick me out of your neighbourhood and tell me that you would NEVER in a hundred years let a person with my history near their kids! You'd boycott the church I was preaching in, or organize a protest march to make the school board fire me, or stand in front of my therapy office with pamphlets letting everyone know just who exactly is this person who presumes to offer therapy sessions!

If I tried to be a truck driver you'd never hire me, you wouldn't wanna wake up one morning and discover that I'd used your truck to smuggle hashish into the country!

So you see, much as I love to do what I love to do, I really don't have any hope of ever being able to do it because I still see myself as a person who is too bad, too evil, to deserve ever doing what I want to do, if you know what I mean. It's not that I ever did anything evil (as far as I'm aware of anyways), it's just that I feel like I was born a bad seed, if you get what I mean, I was born evil, I couldn't help it I was just born that way, like being born with 6 fingers on each hand or without an arm.

Now Paths IS helping me with that, so there are days when I don't feel like I was born evil, there are days when I seem to see things clearly and I'm open to the possibility that maybe that is just an erroneous belief. But other days I'm absolutely convinced that I'm a bad seed and that is that and there is nothing to do about it! Like that's just the way it is, that just as I was born female, with the hair colour and eye colour that I have, with the kind of nose that I have, so I was born evil, with a bad seed and that is it and we must all just accept this fact as irrefutable and unchangeable. Just as I can't change the colour of my eyes or the natural colour of my hair, I can dye it but underneath it is still its natural colour.

Well anyways maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I'm convinced that you would all be much happier for example having me type your letters or clean your oven before you would ever tolerate me around doing what I love to do. If you saw the devil doing what he loved to do most, would you stand for that??? (Whatever it is that the devil loves to do most, because truth is I really don't know what it is that the devil loves to do most lol!)

But all the same thanks so much Adrienne for taking the time to read my long, boring and pedantic posts. Well I guess it's like I said in the post I guess feeling good about myself and about doing what I love to do, is what I need to have happen before I could ever make any attempt to try and earn some money or anything else doing what I love to do. Hopefully with Paths I can eventually find that confidence, which at this moment seems still light years away from me!

Thanks to all and hugs to all, an extra hug for those who had the patience and (I think) enough masochistic sensation to actually wade through this boring post! Serena

[serenac]

Oh no it's me again Gracie! (Gag cough cough!)

Wanted to ask you something about something unrelated to the last post I posted. I don't know much about muscle testing although I've seen some kiniesiologists (not too sure about the spelling!) a few times. But I read somewhere about people doing muscle testing with a pendulum, they trained their hand to spin the pendulum in one direction when the answer was yes and in the opposite direction when the answer was no, etc. Because their hand was connected with their subconscious. So I thought that I'd try a variation on that (because I don't have a pendulum), because you know when people feel happy because something is right and going well they feel like jumping up and down, and when they feel down because something is not right they feel like slumping or falling down or lying down on the sofa! So I tried to teach myself to "feel" like jumping up and down if the answer was yes, and to feel like lying down on the sofa if the answer was no. It's a sensation like a springing up sensation when the answer is yes and a kind of like I-wanna-lie-down-on-the-ground sensation when the answer is no. I was wondering if you could give me your opinion on that, do you think that could work for me?

I've been trying to use that method to "test" the answers to some (not very vital) questions that I had. I've had some quite interesting and very definite results, in that I definitely felt very clearly when the answer was a yes and when it was a no. But I'd like your insights on that too please, anyways, if you don't mind, just so I can discard the possibility that maybe it's "just my imagination" or "all in my mind" so to speak!

Or if anyone else is reading this and knows about muscle testing, and wouldn't mind sharing their views hehe!

Thanks all lotsa love to all who read this forum! Serena

[Adrienne]

serenac

hello,
i notice you write alot about "what i love to do" and "i don't like doing anything else"
but unless i missed it somewhere, what is it that you love to do.... ???
just curious, cuz perhaps some insight and suggestions could be gained by directly reffering to you passion!!
thanks for sharing all that you share

Adrienne

[Sunshine]

hi Grace

I apologise for this being short but I'm limited to computer time right now and have only 2 mins to type this. Please could you do some corrections for me? Hopefully you'll be able to tune in and know what I need? Thanks

[serenac]

Hi Grace! It's me again. (You're probably wishing big time I'd get off this forum by now! )

But anyways, I was wondering if I could ask something of you, I don't know if with CEM you can do these things or not. But if possible do you think you could test for something for me? I really can't decide whether I should just concentrate full out and dedicate myself COMPLETELY to just trying to get doing what I LOOOVE to do to take off and just trust (more like blind trust hehe!) that I will be able to pay the rent and all the bills with this soon, even though I have absolutely NO EXPERIENCE and personally I don't think I am really all that good anyways, that anyone would EVER want to PAY ME to do what I love to do!

Or should I take the more prudent (logical, rational, advisable-in-the-opinion-of-other-people) course of getting a job, any kind of job, it doesn't matter what kind of job as long as it pays the rent and the bills, until I succeed in mustering enough CONFIDENCE to actually dare to try and earn some money doing what I love to do?

Now I don't WANT to get yet another job that I hate (I hate most jobs because the only thing I like to do is that one thing which I love to do, I don't like doing anything else at all in all the world, people say I am very frivolous and whimsical because I ONLY like to do one thing in all the world, they say I should be more flexible and practical), but the truth of the matter is, I AM a single mother with 2 small kids, a rent to pay, no family to lean on or fall back on, no family to move in with, etc. If I don't pay the rent myself no one else is going to give us a home, if I don't put food onto the table no one else is there to feed us.

For the moment I'm receiving welfare which personally I find is quite a nice amount for us to live on. No frills obviously, no vacations or trips or whatever, but we also are lacking in nothing important or necessary and in my opinion we live well.

Thing is where I live welfare is not dependable, here people can't live on welfare indefinitely, at any moment the government can decide that you've been coasting on welfare long enough and then they will send you a letter telling you that effective immediately they are REMOVING your welfare payments, because you should've gotten a job by now!!! I already had that happen once, they don't give advance notice they just PLUNK the letter into your mailbox one fine summer (or spring or whatever) day telling you that the last welfare payment you received WAS the last welfare payment you are ever going to receive, period! That happened to me once and I had to fight tooth and nail and get a zillion reports from people with influence like my social worker and a women's group in order to convince the government people to restitute welfare payments for me.

But I don't know how much longer that is going to be able to last. I know that one day they are going to plunk that letter into my mailbox again, because they do that to everyone one day, and then what???

I know what they say that if you fear something it will become your reality, but in this case this is something inevitable it is something that sooner or later happens to everyone, the only thing I can do is hope that in my case it should be LATER rather than sooner! It is as inevitable as income tax. I know people create their reality but I have yet to meet a person who has created a life where they don't pay income tax!

So I guess, my subconscious probably knows if I am going to gain enough confidence soon enough to be able to earn a living doing what I love to do before the milk train runs dry so to speak. I also don't want the pressure that I really MUST come through and save the day doing what I love to do, which at the moment I have NO CONFIDENCE AT ALL in doing, because if I don't succeed we are going to live on the street!

But anyways, my SUBCONSCIOUS probably knows, I however don't know what my subconscious knows!! Do you think there is some way you could test me for that please Grace? Or perhaps you could test to see if there is some job that exists that, even if I don't love it, I might at least be able to tolerate doing it?

Thanks so much if you can, Grace! I won't EXPECT you to have time to do it and if you can't I will understand, you just need to tell me that you can't do it so please don't actually feel PRESSURED. I just wanted to ask you if it was possible, please? Thank you so much, as I said before I do enjoy chatting with you! Hugs! Serena

[serenac]

Hi Grace! Oh thank you thank you thank you!

You are so inspiring!

I suppose it's just a matter, as often happens with me and which Paths is helping me along with oh so well, of waiting for "inside" to match with "outside". Or as I was telling someone else I think on another forum, waiting until what I FEEL and BELIEVE inside matches with what I already know intellectually.

For example although I know perfectly well what it is I would absolutely LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to be doing for a living, inside myself I just ABSOLUTELY can NOT in the least bit believe that I could ever ever ever actually achieve such a dream. Now I know perfectly well that what the mind can conceive and believe he can achieve, and that as they say if you follow your love or passion the money will follow etc., I just CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T believe it at least as applying to myself. Now I know intellectually that it is true, that if other people can do it I can too, but deep inside of me I just KNOW at the bottom of my heart that it's IMPOSSIBLE for ME!

But I am learning from other people as well as from using Paths that all of these erroneous things that I believe and that won't be moved no matter how much I rationalize with myself and argue with myself, that slowly little by little as I continue to use Paths they DO indeed shift, it is really absolutely AMAZING how Paths can change all these erroneous feelings deep inside me that I've felt almost all my life and help them slide out of me SO EASILY, so that I can replace them with new, healthier, more constructive and more true beliefs. Really if I hadn't been experiencing all this for myself this last month or so I would have thought it was IMPOSSIBLE that I could ever change the things that I believed in deep inside.

For example I always used to believe that I was sh**! Now I know that that wasn't rational and it didn't make any sense, after all I'm a human being and I don't consider any other human being sh**. But I just couldn't shake away this opinion that I held about myself deep inside that I was really evil, that the only thing I deserved was to go and rot in hell. I did so many things to try and change these opinions, I had therapy, I did lots of alternative treatments and healings, aromatherapy, Bach flowers, polarity therapy, etc. But nothing worked. I still continued to just KNOW deep inside that I was sh** and anyone who tried to convince me otherwise was just sadly delusioned. Then about a half month into using Paths I discovered that I all of a sudden could actually LIVE with myself! I didn't feel the obsessive desire that I'd always felt all my life to take a knife and murder Serena because I had always hated Serena so much. I realized that Serena wasn't such an idiot, that Serena was a normal, nice person after all, that I had been wrong about her all my life. Oh you can't imagine just what a great feeling! It's like having a sister that you had to put up with all your life and you can't get rid of because she's your sister, and you've always hated her, and then one day you realize that you don't hate her anymore, you have sisterly feelings towards her, you actually like living with her, and you never did so before. It's so great!

So I guess if you had been writing to me 2 months ago I would have said something to you like, yeah yeah Grace you just keep delusionating, what you say might be true about other people but it sure doesn't apply to me! So now even though I still FEEL that way, that is, that what you said could be true for other people but not for me, now I know, because I have the experience, that as I continue to use Paths one day THAT belief that I have inside too will also change.

For the moment I still feel like, duh Serena is much too much of a DUNCE to ever ever ever be capable of ever fulfilling any dreams, fulfilling dreams is for people who have value and worth, not for dunces like Serena! But I just know that one day deep inside that feeling's gonna change too, just like one day deep inside I realized that I didn't hate myself any more.

At the moment I still have no faith that I could ever enjoy financial freedom doing what I love to do (because I still feel like I'm too dense to ever accomplish such a thing), so I get worried and wonder, what can such a stupid person like myself ever do to earn money, since I'm obviously too stupid to earn money doing what I love to do. The thing is there isn't anything else that I like to do. And that is where the problem lies. If I could stop feeling like I was a stupid dunce then I could believe that it is actually possible for me to earn a living doing what I love to do. However for the moment that is still out of my reach. So I worry about how am I supposed to earn money and survive until the day arrives, if such a day ever arrives, where I am actually capable of believing in myself?

Anyways that's about it, off I go to continue watching my Paths Theatres, which are having such miraculous results in me!

Oh by the way I didn't OWN a company that cleaned toilets, I meant that I worked as an EMPLOYEE for such companies (among other similar type jobs). ME OWN a company??! You must be delirious! I don't even WANT to own a company! Running a company isn't my thing, it bores me just as much to run a company as it does to clean toilets lol!

Anyways I'm off! So great to chat with you Grace. One thing that I DO believe in I do believe that I enjoy very much exchanging ideas with you through this forum! Hugs! Serena

PS. For example re-reading through what you wrote to me, I just CAN'T imagine at the moment that anyone could POSSIBLY actually love me for doing the things that I love to do. I see in my mind everyone vomiting with disgust as they watch me do what I love to do, everyone filled with hatred towards me for forcing them to put up with me as I do what I love to do, people throwing things at me in order to get rid of me. At this moment that is what I see when I try to imagine myself doing what I love to do. So I guess Paths and me still have a long ways to go!