One more thing!
Heheeee! Oh what an exciting journey this is! I decided to apply for a job here in this area... It is a graphic design job for a local college. I figured it was time to start havesting right now and here, instead of waiting till I get to where I am going... This is my journey and I am creating it, so I have decided to create a graphic design job in Walla Walla... For whatever reason I am creating this position for myself, It will serve me well till the time comes when I load my kids and head to California!
While I am at it, I have decided to create some friends in this area.
Oh man, I had this weird visualization today... I was living in Calif. with my kids in an apt right on the beach! It was beautiful. Their Dad came to visit, and what he saw was the me he met many years ago... but all grown up and like on steriods... It was weird, cause he was "like why couldn't you be like this when we were married?" I answered him, "I don't know? Why did you create me in your world the way you did? I am created right now just the way I want to be... Free!" I was so happy and I was just like I had always wanted to be! I had pink streaks through my blond hair! I had skinny jeans on and I was skinny! My clothes were on the outer edge of style. I was totally healthy and had an abundance of energy! My house was absolutely beautiful with purple furniture and fabric on the walls to create color instead of paint. My kids were very happy to see their Dad, but loved living with Mom. They were balanced and peaceful. They had complete respect for each other and were not fighting... Love and gratitude were in abundance, and Keith and I were friends! Although, I believe I had another man in my life who was very special to me!
The only weird part of the visual was the keith part... But I know the person he saw was the real me! The off the wall eccentric, who had now matured into an off the wall eccentric woman! I am sure I was there for some reason in his life, but he was what I needed to grow into that woman and be comfortable being her! If it had not been him, it would have been someone else that played the same role in my life! When I look at it in that way then none of it is bad or good it just is what I needed! I can stop blaming Keith, myself or anyone else! Suddenly forgiveness works! I always tried to figure out how to really forgive someone... especially myself, and the answer is all this! It really works!
Thank you so much for all your encouragement and energy! I realize now that I created you all to help me on this journey! I look forward to continuing on along this journey with all my new friends! Someday I am going to be in the same physical place as you and be able to wrap my arms around you and give you a big huge HUG! In the meantime...
Blessings Sj zartgirl
Heheeee! Oh what an exciting journey this is! I decided to apply for a job here in this area... It is a graphic design job for a local college. I figured it was time to start havesting right now and here, instead of waiting till I get to where I am going... This is my journey and I am creating it, so I have decided to create a graphic design job in Walla Walla... For whatever reason I am creating this position for myself, It will serve me well till the time comes when I load my kids and head to California!
While I am at it, I have decided to create some friends in this area.
Oh man, I had this weird visualization today... I was living in Calif. with my kids in an apt right on the beach! It was beautiful. Their Dad came to visit, and what he saw was the me he met many years ago... but all grown up and like on steriods... It was weird, cause he was "like why couldn't you be like this when we were married?" I answered him, "I don't know? Why did you create me in your world the way you did? I am created right now just the way I want to be... Free!" I was so happy and I was just like I had always wanted to be! I had pink streaks through my blond hair! I had skinny jeans on and I was skinny! My clothes were on the outer edge of style. I was totally healthy and had an abundance of energy! My house was absolutely beautiful with purple furniture and fabric on the walls to create color instead of paint. My kids were very happy to see their Dad, but loved living with Mom. They were balanced and peaceful. They had complete respect for each other and were not fighting... Love and gratitude were in abundance, and Keith and I were friends! Although, I believe I had another man in my life who was very special to me!
The only weird part of the visual was the keith part... But I know the person he saw was the real me! The off the wall eccentric, who had now matured into an off the wall eccentric woman! I am sure I was there for some reason in his life, but he was what I needed to grow into that woman and be comfortable being her! If it had not been him, it would have been someone else that played the same role in my life! When I look at it in that way then none of it is bad or good it just is what I needed! I can stop blaming Keith, myself or anyone else! Suddenly forgiveness works! I always tried to figure out how to really forgive someone... especially myself, and the answer is all this! It really works!
Thank you so much for all your encouragement and energy! I realize now that I created you all to help me on this journey! I look forward to continuing on along this journey with all my new friends! Someday I am going to be in the same physical place as you and be able to wrap my arms around you and give you a big huge HUG! In the meantime...
Blessings Sj zartgirl
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