SLP-1 and the double bind

[belle99]

I'm on Successful Living, Gratitude, Synchronicity, and X Module.

SLP-1 just made me aware of some double binds I have placed on myself that have prevented the manifestation of some things I want!

I asked myself some questions, and got the following answers.

"What would you do if you had everything you wanted?"
--I would sit around on the couch all day like a new college graduate without a job. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would be useless. I would get depressed. I wouldn't be admirable or attractive in any way. I would not love myself anymore.

"So you've put yourself in a real double bind. In order to love yourself, you have to remain in a state where you don't love yourself because you don't have what you want. Because you don't love yourself, you don't get what you want. You keep yourself unable to love yourself so that you don't wind up not loving yourself. You make sure you don't get what you want this way."
--Yes.

"So in a way, you have 'everything you want' by making sure you don't ever get what you want. Part of you is getting more out of not having what you want than the rest of you would get out of having it."
--Yes.

"Well then, maybe you should ask for more, so the part of you that wants it, wants it more than the part of you that is happy to be sour grapes."
--Maybe.

[Kiki]

Belle99,

I am not on the same modules as you but almost the same exact issues have come up for me. (I'm on Efft Comm at Work, Public Speaking, Antioxidants, PTSD).

What is so amazing is how wacky our logic is. I am more aware then before of my thoughts and beliefs in this world I've set up for my self. I can see now that I have been walking through it in a daze, because when I have so many conflicting feelings about EVERYTHING, how can there be space for things to flow?

How about this one for size:

I realized that the "discovery" and "research" of all the things that are wrong with me, or all the things that keep me from my desires has become my major hobby. Therefore I get so much enjoyment out of this process that I create more and more of it to do! I don't really want to have my desire because then I have less of this research.

Insanity?

I am an EFT coach trainee so this allows me lots of stuff to tap on. Have you ever tried out EFT?

I like your idea of asking for more. Maybe I can ask for so much that I can be in my desires and still have lots of things about my self to discover. I think that may be the way of life anyway.

[Kevin]

I'm on Successful Living, Gratitude, Synchronicity, and X Module.

SLP-1 just made me aware of some double binds I have placed on myself that have prevented the manifestation of some things I want!

I asked myself some questions, and got the following answers.

"What would you do if you had everything you wanted?"
--I would sit around on the couch all day like a new college graduate without a job. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would be useless. I would get depressed. I wouldn't be admirable or attractive in any way. I would not love myself anymore.

"So you've put yourself in a real double bind. In order to love yourself, you have to remain in a state where you don't love yourself because you don't have what you want. Because you don't love yourself, you don't get what you want. You keep yourself unable to love yourself so that you don't wind up not loving yourself. You make sure you don't get what you want this way."
--Yes.

"So in a way, you have 'everything you want' by making sure you don't ever get what you want. Part of you is getting more out of not having what you want than the rest of you would get out of having it."
--Yes.

"Well then, maybe you should ask for more, so the part of you that wants it, wants it more than the part of you that is happy to be sour grapes."
--Maybe.

Hi Belle,

Somehow I missed this post until just now.

Wow. You explained the "vicious cycle" that so many live with perfectly.

You have definitely made me go "hmmmm" about a "catch-22" that I have been trying to break out of myself.

for the insight and clarity.

[belle99]

Kevin,

Glad I was able to help and that my angst was not in vain!

[Kevin]

Throughout life I have seen that correctly identifying a problem is 90% of the solution!

Just got the other 10% to go!

[KimJ]

Belle99,

What you say is so true - and yet I've not put those pieces together before! You're right, it's complete insanity! It's no wonder we (or rather I!!) behave like a hamster on a wheel more often than not!

You hit the nail on the head too about self-discovery becoming a hobby. It almost consumes me because I find it so fascinating and therefore I'm perpetuating this very cycle!

Thank you for the so simple and obvious, yet seemingly elusive, at least to me, insight!



Kim