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I've been asked by people who have only met me in the last year or so, if I've ever been fed up and lost faith. I've decided to share the posts below with you (which I posted on a forum in 2006) because sometimes it makes a big difference to hear someone else's story, who has been rock bottom, and then come out the other end (so to speak lol). I must point out that this was in the middle of all my efforts at Self Development, including The Secret, Visualisations, Powerful Intentions, EFT, Holosync, .... and a lot of other stuff.
If I can get from there to where I am now, so can you.
Sorry about the length of the post, but I hope it helps.
(I've just discovered it's too long for one post, so I'll put it into four...)
Love and Light and Magic xxx
PS: The only things I've edited are the names of the other people who responded - I've changed their names to their initials for their own privacy. Otherwise, this is exactly what was posted.
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Illusions
can't anymore
I was going to post this in answer to a thread on The Secret forum, but then felt it might not be such a good idea, and I thought you guys would understand more.
Please understand, I hope I'm wrong about this, but I have yet to see any actual clear, obvious indication otherwise.
What if some of us decided (or rather the expanded self decided) that in this particular incarnation/ hologram experience, we would experience financial hardship - regardless. What if let's say my expanded self decided to play the game of red herrings and false hope (presumably very entertaining for my expanded self, but pretty sh***y for me - the conciousness I currently am - the character in this virtual reality game) What if, no matter what this character does, it'll never have what it wants because that's the game. That's what all evidence currently points to.
For example: people say don't give up. When a child learns to walk, when he falls down, he doesn't give up and just not learn to walk. He keeps trying until he walks. Here's the difference: we teach our children to walk by helping them and showing them exactly how. We don't give them obscure clues and false information and expect them to figure it out. We don't suggest they stand on their hands, or heads. We don't hold up cards with "fish" or "bread" or "twirl" written on them. And we don't hold our a hand, and then snatch it away. We don't push them over so they fall when they do manage to stand up.
There are many people who have managed to improve their finances - through a wide variety of methods. Just in these forums alone there is LOA, EFT, and of course BLFTMG, amongst so many others - and these methods have worked for many different people. But for many of us, none of these "work". We can have the same "blocks", the same "issues", the same "history", and trying just as hard, doing just as much as others, and we don't get the result.
I am tired of peddling now. I'm tired of being offered "life rafts" that sink. Tired of being pointed in a direction, following and trusting, only to find it's another dead end. I'm tired of believing and trusting "inspired thought", following it with inspired action, to find it's another red herring, only leading to another dead end, presumably purely for the entertainment of a game I have no concious memeory of agreeing to play.
Like in a computer game, where the person playing sends the character in the game into battles and on quests, for entertainment, and the character perhaps simply wants a nice quiet life at home with family, plenty of food and security, and keeps wanting that, and hoping and trusting that maybe if they try it this way, or win this battle, they'll get what they want. Because they've been led to believe that if they keep trying, they'll get what they want - and that they wouldn't have been given that desire unless they could achieve it. But what they don't know is that the constant battle and gettingupfallingdowngettingupfallingdowngettingupf allingdown is all part of the entertainment for the player. The character doesn't know that no matter how many times they get up they'll always fall down because that's part of the game.
I keeeeep picking myself up, trying everything I feel inspired to try, trustingtrustingtrusting, busting eggs, EFT, meditation, gratitude ..... you name it, and I have yet to see ANY indication of ANY financial result. Oh, sure there are the crumbs. I managed to get my rent by the skin of my teeth at the last minute last month, and I was so grateful. But see, I am sO grateful for the crumbs, I really am, but I would really really really like a crust - maybe even a slice some time. And I'm led to believe that not only is it possible for me to have a slice some time, but that I deserve it. But I've seen no evidence of that. Not a scrap.
I mean every - that's EVERY - hope that appears is false. And I know that some may think I must have beliefs that I will fail or beliefs that I will be given false clues and false hope - and that that creates the situations, but (well, I suppose without actually knowing me, it's difficult to understand) I really really really - I swear - believe and trust each and every time - I believe and trust "this is it, I've got it." I believe and trust I deserve it. I believe and trust if I have the desire, I must be able to do it. It's only after slapintheface after slapintheface after slapintheface that the evidence is overwhelming.
It's like Oliver, going up and asking for more - and really believing he can get it. Having been told "if you just ask and hold out your bowl, you'll get it" so he does that, and he gets sent away with an empty bowl. Then someone else suggests "but you need to you really believe you can have it, and try using this bowl." So he believes and trusts that. So up he goes again. Same result. Then someone else says "You have to visualise it, and feel good about it - try meditating on it" and so he does - with the same enthusiasm and belief and trust (perhaps even more - because this is something he hadn't tried before. It makes sense. It's bound to work) Again - same result - empty bowl. But because he really wants it, and he really believes and trusts, he keeps going over and over with the same enthusiasm, commitment, belief and trust. But unfortunately, the story is that he doesn't get more. So he can keep doing it until he grows old and dies. He'll never get it. Because that's not the story that was written for the entertainment of the reader.
After just too many of these - and absolutely no sign of a result, I am afraid I'm now just too broken. I have decided to stop. I'm sorry to spoil the entertainment for the player, but I just don't want to play anymore. I am now officially giving up. I don't know what I will do, but I will not keep rising to the bait. I am giving up my hopes of financial ..... well anything. I am giving up my hopes of a career in what I love and live for. I have no choice but to simply wait out the game. Well, let me re-phrase that - I do have a choice, but the choice is to continue in the same way - gettingupfallingdowngettingupfallingdown - with no real hope of breaking the pattern. Or at least saving myself the constant falls. If I stay down, I won't have so far to fall.
As I said before, I am so very grateful for the crumbs. But I guess I was led to believe I could have a bit more than that. At least if I resign myself to just scraping by on crumbs, it's better than false hope.
Posted by Illusions ; )
12/05/06 07:20 PM
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If I can get from there to where I am now, so can you.
Sorry about the length of the post, but I hope it helps.
(I've just discovered it's too long for one post, so I'll put it into four...)
Love and Light and Magic xxx
PS: The only things I've edited are the names of the other people who responded - I've changed their names to their initials for their own privacy. Otherwise, this is exactly what was posted.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Illusions
can't anymore
I was going to post this in answer to a thread on The Secret forum, but then felt it might not be such a good idea, and I thought you guys would understand more.
Please understand, I hope I'm wrong about this, but I have yet to see any actual clear, obvious indication otherwise.
What if some of us decided (or rather the expanded self decided) that in this particular incarnation/ hologram experience, we would experience financial hardship - regardless. What if let's say my expanded self decided to play the game of red herrings and false hope (presumably very entertaining for my expanded self, but pretty sh***y for me - the conciousness I currently am - the character in this virtual reality game) What if, no matter what this character does, it'll never have what it wants because that's the game. That's what all evidence currently points to.
For example: people say don't give up. When a child learns to walk, when he falls down, he doesn't give up and just not learn to walk. He keeps trying until he walks. Here's the difference: we teach our children to walk by helping them and showing them exactly how. We don't give them obscure clues and false information and expect them to figure it out. We don't suggest they stand on their hands, or heads. We don't hold up cards with "fish" or "bread" or "twirl" written on them. And we don't hold our a hand, and then snatch it away. We don't push them over so they fall when they do manage to stand up.
There are many people who have managed to improve their finances - through a wide variety of methods. Just in these forums alone there is LOA, EFT, and of course BLFTMG, amongst so many others - and these methods have worked for many different people. But for many of us, none of these "work". We can have the same "blocks", the same "issues", the same "history", and trying just as hard, doing just as much as others, and we don't get the result.
I am tired of peddling now. I'm tired of being offered "life rafts" that sink. Tired of being pointed in a direction, following and trusting, only to find it's another dead end. I'm tired of believing and trusting "inspired thought", following it with inspired action, to find it's another red herring, only leading to another dead end, presumably purely for the entertainment of a game I have no concious memeory of agreeing to play.
Like in a computer game, where the person playing sends the character in the game into battles and on quests, for entertainment, and the character perhaps simply wants a nice quiet life at home with family, plenty of food and security, and keeps wanting that, and hoping and trusting that maybe if they try it this way, or win this battle, they'll get what they want. Because they've been led to believe that if they keep trying, they'll get what they want - and that they wouldn't have been given that desire unless they could achieve it. But what they don't know is that the constant battle and gettingupfallingdowngettingupfallingdowngettingupf allingdown is all part of the entertainment for the player. The character doesn't know that no matter how many times they get up they'll always fall down because that's part of the game.
I keeeeep picking myself up, trying everything I feel inspired to try, trustingtrustingtrusting, busting eggs, EFT, meditation, gratitude ..... you name it, and I have yet to see ANY indication of ANY financial result. Oh, sure there are the crumbs. I managed to get my rent by the skin of my teeth at the last minute last month, and I was so grateful. But see, I am sO grateful for the crumbs, I really am, but I would really really really like a crust - maybe even a slice some time. And I'm led to believe that not only is it possible for me to have a slice some time, but that I deserve it. But I've seen no evidence of that. Not a scrap.
I mean every - that's EVERY - hope that appears is false. And I know that some may think I must have beliefs that I will fail or beliefs that I will be given false clues and false hope - and that that creates the situations, but (well, I suppose without actually knowing me, it's difficult to understand) I really really really - I swear - believe and trust each and every time - I believe and trust "this is it, I've got it." I believe and trust I deserve it. I believe and trust if I have the desire, I must be able to do it. It's only after slapintheface after slapintheface after slapintheface that the evidence is overwhelming.
It's like Oliver, going up and asking for more - and really believing he can get it. Having been told "if you just ask and hold out your bowl, you'll get it" so he does that, and he gets sent away with an empty bowl. Then someone else suggests "but you need to you really believe you can have it, and try using this bowl." So he believes and trusts that. So up he goes again. Same result. Then someone else says "You have to visualise it, and feel good about it - try meditating on it" and so he does - with the same enthusiasm and belief and trust (perhaps even more - because this is something he hadn't tried before. It makes sense. It's bound to work) Again - same result - empty bowl. But because he really wants it, and he really believes and trusts, he keeps going over and over with the same enthusiasm, commitment, belief and trust. But unfortunately, the story is that he doesn't get more. So he can keep doing it until he grows old and dies. He'll never get it. Because that's not the story that was written for the entertainment of the reader.
After just too many of these - and absolutely no sign of a result, I am afraid I'm now just too broken. I have decided to stop. I'm sorry to spoil the entertainment for the player, but I just don't want to play anymore. I am now officially giving up. I don't know what I will do, but I will not keep rising to the bait. I am giving up my hopes of financial ..... well anything. I am giving up my hopes of a career in what I love and live for. I have no choice but to simply wait out the game. Well, let me re-phrase that - I do have a choice, but the choice is to continue in the same way - gettingupfallingdowngettingupfallingdown - with no real hope of breaking the pattern. Or at least saving myself the constant falls. If I stay down, I won't have so far to fall.
As I said before, I am so very grateful for the crumbs. But I guess I was led to believe I could have a bit more than that. At least if I resign myself to just scraping by on crumbs, it's better than false hope.
Posted by Illusions ; )
12/05/06 07:20 PM
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Start a NEW Topic
I can't tell you just how scary that was lol. But I was sO excited and it felt right. I also figured that that money could pay my electricity bill, but what about the other bills, and what about next month?
- I used the Pain module for about two months last year, and I've not had any symptoms since!)
Self Esteem and Confidence are kinda a pre-requisite!) I was sure I had high Self Esteem, but my sister pointed out, if you have High Self Esteem, why aren't you allowing financial abundance. 
).
) but I've never been back to where I was when I posted the posts above. It did get tight again, and I happened to have discovered Ho'oponopono earlier last year, but the results were inconsistant and I didn't really understand it. A few months ago, I swapped out one of my modules (I now have 4 plus a Platinum) for the Ho'oponopono module, went back to the Ho'oponopono website and re-read the information - and suddenly it all made PERFECT sense to me!!! Using that has been completely Miraculous. 
I'm getting back into my acting work (unlikely opportunities have come up for me from unexpected places). Financially it's still a bit tight, but I'm not in the quagmire I was in before - and it's getting better. I know I've cleared a lOt of financially limitting beliefs and patterns with Paths and Ho'oponopono. I'm loving working from home. I love being with my family. And I love watching more and more synchronicities and Magic happening consistantly.
The absolute truth is, IS THAT IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A PERFECT, WHOLE AND COMPLETE CIRCLE all along!!
I love this - and of course, it's absolutely true!
Keoi
Or so I thought.
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