Looking for a reason please?

[S.J]

[S.J]

Little update: well I am feeling a lot better about it now Sorry if it grossed anyone out! It freaked me out I must admit, it came right out of left field. However, it has tested my faith in energy etc and I know they just decided to change form all together and I have said my goodbyes. It's not about the money, although my ego wanted to say that had a part initially with the company that supplied the treatment!

It just boils down to one thing now. I create my reality, and everything is an illusion, right? So the fish weren't real. Neither are the company and the treatment for the pond water. I can accept that. I guess I just fancied a break from pets or something!

So, this is my quandary. My family want to write and campaign against the fish treatment company. They asked me to take photo's of the fish which was most unpleasant. (the smell and everything was just vile and I'm disliking editing them etc) Am I right in just going along with this? I know I should just do what feels good right? But my family already don't understand me, and now I am sooo laidback in the feelings for a company that "allegedly" killed my fish - they find it strange Any ideas what you would do please? They are reasoning, what if someone treats their pond with koi carp worth thousands? Wouldn't you want to warn them and save their fish? Ack, it's hard. What to do!

At the end of the day though *thank goodness* for paths and the mood elevating modules. I would be so down without it I have never felt such peace internally while the storm rages around me.

[CeCee]

PM Sent Your way

S.J., I have sent you a PM and along with that my love and support.
Love,
Maggie

[S.J]

Thank you. I haven't a pm here so I'll check my email and my pi just in case it's there. I was up til 5am just it hit me hard as I went to bed that they'd gone, couldn't stop crying and there's me doing so well handling it Lol. But I guess it was good, and got it out my system. I just felt angry and frustrated, but by 4am the dawn started and I think most of the feelings were gone and I felt more peaceful with the sun rising. Also it was fire the grid day, and I was amazed to feel a spark of natural joy at this!! I put the computer on and watched paths, listened to classical music that uplifts me and watched my fav you tubes. It worked! After firing the grid, I came home to find someone, the most perfect solution for my remaining 2 fish. He has offered them an amazing home, in a huge pond that is almost a lake. He has 1 koi carp that is a bit lonely, and some other fish to my last koi and my tench are going there very soon to live I said, that is perfect you can just take them whenever. So that is very good news. I won't have a pond, but my heart has gone out of it anyway. It was a big one too, 1300 gallons and I've always had it so will be strange without it. ah well! thanks for the love hun it means a lot you replied . Kisses xx